flutterlings:

the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”

(via van-goggles)

anxietyblogger:


gay-men:

Guy holding Martini while walking his cat.

Me in 10 years

anxietyblogger:

gay-men:

Guy holding Martini while walking his cat.

Me in 10 years

(via van-goggles)

anacondom:

this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said 
“sister, that’s fashion”
and just walked away

anacondom:

this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said 

“sister, that’s fashion”

and just walked away

(via van-goggles)

ohroseweasley:

alexandrefelixdarnay:

pfdiva:

starfleetrambo:

sakothefox:

unseilie:

fullofbeansandspunk:

everythingbutharleyquinn:

asinheavenasinhell:

thnafu:

• Use the hand you write with.

• Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.

• Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., you’re being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.

• When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if you’re on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.

Useful information, esp. if you haven’t taken self defense.

I reblogged this once before to add this and I’ll do it again…

keep your wrist straight.

You can also risk breaking your wrist if you allow it to bend.  I actually can’t believe this isn’t in there.

Other good pointers:

  • if your attacker is male, go for his junk - especially if he’s wearing loose pants. There’s no sportsmanship when it comes to assault so fuck them balls UP
  • punching pretty much ANYWHERE in the face is going to actually hurt you a LOT (just think - you’re punching your bones into their bones and ow). If you’re going for the face, my suggestion is to strick upwards with your palm.

image

see that meaty portion highlighted in red? There’s a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though I’ve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but I’ve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards

  • other delicate areas: 
  • the shin (hurts like a bitch if you kick it right - also, you can hit this spot if you’re being held in a choke-hold and if your attacker has to move in order to stop you from kicking him, he’ll have to angle his body so as to expose his stomach and crotch to the wild spastic jabbings of your elbows)
image
  • the solar plexus (either jab while holding your hand in a sort of spear position or use your elbows - unless you’re super strong, your punch probably won’t wind your attacker. Your elbow or a spear hand will, however)
image
Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.
  • the clavicle (from experience, getting hit in your clavicle HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. If you strike downwards with your knuckles, the person might just cry. Like I did.)
image
  • the ear (this is probably the best place to punch besides the throat. It’s all cartilage so it probably won’t hurt you all that much and most people will be like “DUDE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR WHAT THE HELL”)
  • the kidneys (this is harder to hit without training but if you somehow get your attacker’s back to face you, try to hit’em in the kidneys. Again, from experience, this FUCKING HURTS. You can’t really hit the kidneys from the front with any effect but from the back it is super painful)

image

  • if you’re held in a choke-hold, try turning your head so the forearm isn’t pressed into your throat. If you can position yourself right, you can sort of force your chin into the crook of the elbow, making you able to still receive (limited) oxygen and provide time for you to kick some shins or elbow some spleens and shit

-Also, remember that a guy’s junk is not an off-button. Don’t think that you can rely on a swift kick to the balls to immediately incapacitate him in an emergency. Adrenaline and anger can keep somebody going for a long time even through extreme pain, and if you expect to end a fight with a single groin-attack you might be caught off-guard when he doesn’t drop. Certainly go for it if you get the chance, but keep hitting him until the fight is over.

-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attacker’s vision, it’s also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.

-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch. 

-Yelling and shouting makes you scary. 

Self-defense in driving school taught us that it’s not honestly a good idea to go for the balls. It makes them even more angry and gives them more motivation to hurt you worse.

We’d also learned that its a good idea to go for the eyes if you can. Dudes are scared as shit to lose their vision so, pepperspray if available. If not, using your thumbs to try and gouge their eyes.

Welcome to tumblr, where we teach you how to fight and defend yourself.

In which tumblr teaches you better than highschool.

Oh god getting my eyes gouged out is one of my worst fears

(Source: am-buh, via van-goggles)

peevesies:

i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life

(via van-goggles)

slantededge:

at my future wedding and funeral service

slantededge:

at my future wedding and funeral service

(Source: nastyshitwhitepeopleeat, via van-goggles)

wiki-minaj:

amanda bynes vagina found dead in apartment. drake prime suspect

(Source: slydiggers, via van-goggles)

spiritbear:

my eyes just welled up with tears omg

image

that’s mark patting martin

look at martins face i 

(Source: gaymis, via van-goggles)

vondell-swain:

she wear snort snirt i wear sneep snop

(Source: itsvondell, via van-goggles)

"When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece gets lost - the two remaining ends couldn’t fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed."

John Green and David Levithan, Will Grayson, Will Grayson (via perfect)

(Source: tiedyeandsushi, via xfuckkitx)

  • Britain: Excuse Me
  • Netherlands: Excuseer me
  • Mexico: Perdon
  • Italy: Permesso
  • France: Pardon
  • Canada: Sorry
  • America: Get the fuck out of my way douchedick
  • Australia: Move cunt or I'll run you down with my kangaroo

fuckinq:

sexcake:

does anyone else accidentally stare at a boys penis when hes wearing pants

me but it’s never an accident

(via xfuckkitx)

Can we take a moment to appreciate the Owl City twitter account

sevenplusfour:

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

(via van-goggles)

prayingforlove:

ianocheetos:

kiss-the-tot:

pheebadohdoh:

0shawhat:

davidbowiesgroin:

no-one-sees:


I love you most.

She kisses her hair instead of her forehead.

THAT JUST BLEW MY mIND THANK YOU



I just noticed, when she says ‘you most’ she breaks eye contact to look at her hair

There’s so much symbolism in this movie though like when the mirror breaks at the end and all the stuff about the hair so along with being extremely cute and catchy Tangled is also really deep.
I could watch this movie forever.

Gothel directs most of her loving gestures towards Rapunzel’s hair. In “Mother Knows Best”, Gothel gives a particularly noticeable, prolonged look at her hair and rubs her cheek against it. She also calls Rapunzel her “flower” several times.
First time watching “Tangled”, afterwards I thought, but Mother Gothel did seem to care for her in the beginning. Did she actually care for her, just a little? But after watching it a second time, I noticed all of her subtle ways of emotionally manipulating Rapunzel into being dependent on her (convincing her that staying inside was for her own good, and constantly chipping away at her self esteem before dismissing it as “just teasing” with a smile and a wave, keeping her compliant with small kindnesses like going away to get Rapunzel the shells she wanted), and all of the subtle signs that even as Gothel acted like she loved Rapunzel, all she really cared about was her hair.
Basically, “Tangled” is really clever at showing an emotionally abusive, parasitic and manipulative family relationship. It’s effective because it’s so subtle.

I’m actually surprised that I caught onto this right away, maybe by the second time I watched it. I immediately caught onto the fact that Gothel always looked at Rapunzel’s hair with affection rather than her face, and the nickname “flower” was not so much affection in the form of a nickname for Rapunzel but for the power she had. 

prayingforlove:

ianocheetos:

kiss-the-tot:

pheebadohdoh:

0shawhat:

davidbowiesgroin:

no-one-sees:

I love you most.

She kisses her hair instead of her forehead.

THAT JUST BLEW MY mIND THANK YOU

I just noticed, when she says ‘you most’ she breaks eye contact to look at her hair

There’s so much symbolism in this movie though like when the mirror breaks at the end and all the stuff about the hair so along with being extremely cute and catchy Tangled is also really deep.

I could watch this movie forever.

Gothel directs most of her loving gestures towards Rapunzel’s hair. In “Mother Knows Best”, Gothel gives a particularly noticeable, prolonged look at her hair and rubs her cheek against it. She also calls Rapunzel her “flower” several times.

First time watching “Tangled”, afterwards I thought, but Mother Gothel did seem to care for her in the beginning. Did she actually care for her, just a little? But after watching it a second time, I noticed all of her subtle ways of emotionally manipulating Rapunzel into being dependent on her (convincing her that staying inside was for her own good, and constantly chipping away at her self esteem before dismissing it as “just teasing” with a smile and a wave, keeping her compliant with small kindnesses like going away to get Rapunzel the shells she wanted), and all of the subtle signs that even as Gothel acted like she loved Rapunzel, all she really cared about was her hair.

Basically, “Tangled” is really clever at showing an emotionally abusive, parasitic and manipulative family relationship. It’s effective because it’s so subtle.

I’m actually surprised that I caught onto this right away, maybe by the second time I watched it. I immediately caught onto the fact that Gothel always looked at Rapunzel’s hair with affection rather than her face, and the nickname “flower” was not so much affection in the form of a nickname for Rapunzel but for the power she had. 

(via xfuckkitx)

jigglesisawesome:

He is the man

(Source: lickypickystickyme, via soundlyawake)